Re: The Test of Complete Faith

Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krishna!
Dear Srinath - first of all thank you so very much for your wonderful articles! They really apply to many people!
In this case i can share my experience too. Out of my tiny 5 years of trying to be at least a bit faithful. Of trying to feel the taste of devotion i came across so many difficulties! Just like you told new and new questions were rising and appearing like worms after the rain. And i can tell, once i have lost my faith. Because i didn't have answers. After some time i was thinking to myself "Do i have weak backbone? Is all my practice just a waste of time? Can i say that these years were just gone for me useless?"... Agreeing to myself in this way would mean that i am just a weak person, with no faith, no strong principles and weak character. World is not made for people like that. Better they would be born like dogs or cats, who live with a moment - eating sleeping and just letting everything go as it is.
I understood, that material life is first of all fight. A tough fight with mind, with false ego, with maya. Good things just don't come too easy. Else it would be cheap. So i started to find answers to all my questions. Reading Vivekananda, S. Prabhupada... Then came first understanding, then realization - we ain't no fallen, or bad, or limited, or stupid. The real us. We - are souls, children of God. What is really limited - is our mind. We all are right now under influence of maya. This life is not a suffering. Its a funny game with maya and mind. Try to concur them, play with mind - confront it, try to separate what your mind wants from you and what is your souls desire. It is always inner dialogue. A debate, where you know, that you have to win. Try to find arguments against your mind speculations. When you feel down - be stubborn, be fighter - do chant, don't give up. Be strong. Its a fight, your inner Kurukshetra. Your goal - is seeing Lord face to face.
We do like to concur others, fight for money, for material pleasures. Then why not to fight for your soul happiness, which is eternal? Faith in God starts with faith in yourself. In your mission in this world and faith in your decisions. And then - in this game you have a GREAT protector and well wisher - Lord himself. He is your biggest argument against maya
That was my realization about faith. 

I hope, this meets you well! Hare Krishna!

K.

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