Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krsna!
Dear Swami Gaurangapada, please accept my simple obiesances.
Thank you very much for you answer Gurudeva. It is very helpful, in jaap I was thinking of the cowherd boys sitting with Krsna and at another time thinking of Mother Yashoda. They were gazing upon Krsna just as he had reached the age to guide the mature cows. Mother Yashoda, in her motherly mood was thinking of Krsna in the coming years etc. I was wondering if meditating on the boys and Mother Yashoda, in regards to Sri Sri Radha-Krsna was ok.
What impresses me most from the Krsna Book by Srila Prabhupada is how all the residents of Vrindavan hold Krsna in the center. Over the last nine years I have not gone near 10th canto, and to be honest am glad I did not. Picking up Krsna Book now has over-joyed my heart. To see a drop of Srila Prabhupada's mood is such a grace. I am glad I waited.
I walked home from town the other day (45 minute walk) with jaap mala in hand. I don't know if it is ok to share, but I wish to glorify Nityananda Naam and your kindness. As one knows if he is honest, our fallen state is evident, and the desire to be controller is ingrained within the unclean heart. But still Lord Nityananda-Balaram and his servants are mercy personified and lead us on!
I was walking thinking of Krsna Book...Nityananda! Nityananda! Nityananda!....with my new jaap bag and beads...small delicate tulsi beads. Most beautiful.
And envisioned cows infront, each unique and beautiful. I was heading toward a water course in the distance and was eager to get there. A resting ground where Krsna and the boys where sitting. With the cows in front I lost care for the external world and eagerness increased, and with a glimpse of the party resting near the cool clean waters...ecstacy increased. The smiling faces, the laughter....the feasting....the Supreme Person!
When I reached the party, joyfully we sat and rested next to the sacred waters which was full of life, birds etc ( I watched and listened to the loving conversations - home)...externally with jaap mala in hand...Nityananda! Nityananda! Nityananda! After some time and much laughter the party proceeded onward. Each group of boys leading their own group of cows, painted faces and bells. The external world of maya was far away! The associates always keeping Krsna in the center.
We passed a field of daisy flowers, and we could see the young gopies sitting there, shy, as the party proceed by. Exquisite. Always keeping Krsna in the center. Nityananda! Nityananda! Nityananda!
Off in the distance we could see the hill of Govardhana. As boys we laughed and wanted to make our home there, in its cooling shade to rest the cows. Thinking of the cowherd men and their affection for Sri Krsna love increased. As we climbed the hill fatigue set in...and Krsna said 'do not mind we will take lunch soon and be refreshed'. We passed two grand trees and laughed at Krsna's prowess as the babe who delivered the twin Arjuna trees! Roars of Jaya Jaya filled the air!!! He smiled and accepted our praise!
We reached the top of the hill and entered a small grove. Then I came to external consciosuness and was home in my little apartment with small garden and cushion...Nityananda! Nityananda! Nityananda!
What is most painful is that such jaap is not every day. Forgetting Krsna is my madness....and deep meditation on the Kingdom of God is sanity. I guess I am grateful to have a tiny glimpse of reality by Sri Nityananda-Balarama's mercy. A tiny glimpse of what the Supreme Person is, who is never far away.
Please forgive my foolishness, I am most fallen.
aspiring service....Nava.
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Last Kartikka, students traveled to Vrindavan from the far corners of the Earth to learn the transcendental art of painting Krishna’s pastimes in the first ever BBT Art Seminar.