Friday, June 6, 2008
Re: Diary of chanting aspirant
Nityananda Gauranga Hare Krsna,
thank you so much for your words. Story is really inspirative and I am finding myself in this case. Yes, we all are learning, we fall and stand up.
Regarding that there is one proverb. Question is what is difference between winer and loser? Answer is very simple...only difference is that winner is always get up when he fall, and looser quite after first difficulty. Nice story.
Yes, I agree with you and whatever you said about household life. That is true. It is not easy to have spiritual tendencies and in the same time live in material enviorement. All your arguments are sober and wellwishing for me.
There is struggle within me because going to job, associating with materialistic persons and doing all kind of activities just to earn small amount of money to pay bills seems to me like vasting of precious time. Frankly, I see little or no sense in this "struggle for existence." I am trying to play that role, best I can, but simultaneously I am praying to Lord Nityananda to help me to overcome such entanglements and live simple and sublime life, absorb in devotional service and Naam.
Chanting of 100.000 Names is life time goal. There is great example of Our Acharya Srilla Bhaktivinoda Thakura. He spent his last years fully absorb in Naam. That is goal. Due to my ugra-karma and previous offencess I am suffering in separation from vaishnavas, guru, Dham and Lord, but Lord Nityananda is most merciful upon all, including greatest fools and sinners.
I think I love my family members,(or trying to love them and take care best I can ) and because I am attached to them I want only best for them. How may I give them ultimate benefit? Is it on material level? That is just one side of coin - I must provide food, shelter etc. That is external. But if I am really care about them, then I must help them to leave this material realm and live eternal happy life.What is use if I manage to build golden castle for my son if he must suffer in material world? So, I do not see any other think to do it but to chant Naam, and hopefully in this life time attain stage of 100.000. Names per day. That is best thing that I may do for ultimate benefit for my family. All other things and arrangements will perish due to course of time, spiritual benefit will remain.
Off course, to think like that, and more to act like that in modern world means to be complete idiot according to materialistic measurements. We all are crazy according to material standards. You are chanting? You are reading some books? What are you doing? But as Srilla Prabhupada wrote in his wonderful essay question is - Who is crazy? Who really understand nature of this place? This is temporary place. We are reading this post now, for 100 years none of us will be here, in this body. That is fact. Are we really aware of this fact? Therefore, chanting of Naam is more important then our life-force. Our spiritual activities are our only wealth. It is not theory, that is practical.
Sorry for writing so long post. I just wanted to explain. We all are unique persons. Some of us need to live in grhastha, some of us in vanaprastha, sanyasa asram, whatever. It is not so important. It is external. We all know in hearth what is best for us. Most important is our understanding and practice of Naam-tattva, whenever we may be. This life is short. Who knows how long we will be in this body? Some may say that these are hard words, but it is reality.
Thank you for your words and story. Please continue to helping me on this path. That is real treasure of vaisnava sanga.
Nityananda Gauranga Hare Krsna
artificial devotee, Igor
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