Falldown and avoiding offenses

Dear Swamiji and all devotees,

Nityananda Gauranga Hare Krishna! Jaya Visnupada Srila Prabhupada! Jaya Swami Gaurangapada! All glories to the illustrious guru parampara and all our acaryas! Glories to the Pancha Tattva, who appear as personalites of devotion in five features! All glories to the spiritual master and to all Vaisnavas!

  Please accept my respectful obeisances! Dandavat Pranam! Requesting you mercy so that I continue to advance in devotion continuously.

  After the events which have unfolded over the last few days, I have come to some realisations which I feel are very important for all sadhakas. These are based on what I have practically experienced many times over thanks to all my mistakes and this fact was quite painfully clear after a while. In one sentence I can say that this is the best deterrent against commiting offenses - that all offenses culminate and lead to the most dangerous Vaisnava aparadha. Thinking about this a hundred times a day is equivalent to beating the mind with a shoe and a whip and it should put enough sense in a sadhaka not to commit offenses even if the mantrarajas are very forgiving.
 
   It turns out that while the mantrarajas EXCUSE the offenses when they are committed, it doesn't mean that they aren't being done. It simply means the mantrarajas don't consider what we did and minimize or nullify the benefits of chanting them at the time the offense was committed unlike the Hare Krishna maha-mantra, which does not produce any benefit when chanted offensively but only turns on the chanter and  ultimately leads to his fall-down instead. In simpler language, it means if we commit an offense while chanting, that won't diminish the spiritual benefit we gained on that day's chanting. But at the same time the offenses being committed will not be eradicated unless there is a very powerful determination in the chanter that he should permanently cease from committing any of the offenses. Excusing is different from eradicating.

If a person is offensive and has no will to give up offenses, then the only solution is to chant the names of the Lord 24 hours a day without any break...only then can they be eradicated. However, since we never get anywhere near that figure, it means that if we do not have a desire to become offense-less in our devotion, then whatever offenses that we commit gradually start accumulating in the heart. They are excused and not considered by the Lord while giving us the spiritual benefit of chanting the mantrarajas, but excuse means also an excuse to stay in the heart as well. The seed of offenses when encouraged, becomes a weed, the most poisonous weed of all anarthas which grows more and more by the more offensive behavior one indulges in as they proceed. If a person is committing offenses out of innocence because they do not know and they have no intention to commit them, then the Lord forgives that soul and makes that person quickly aware of the offenses and the effect of his chanting makes him spontaneously stop all offensive behavior even without his knowledge. That sort of chanting is namabhasa which will quickly become pure.

If on the other hand, a person KNOWINGLY commits offenses thinking that he will be excused, then very quickly the weed of offenses grows in his heart and very soon it will strangle the delicate creeper of bhakti. The person becomes more and more lenient, less disciplined and doesn't mind committing offenses. It is not long before the effect of those offenses become clear and his chanting begins to decline. Even now it is not too late. One can always realise and repent and leave this tendency for good. But the weed of offenses when it grows ultimately results in the chanter doing things like disobeying his guru or the Lord, or behaving badly with devotees, or worse. The ultimate fruit of the tree of offenses is Vaisnava aparadha which promptly brings in the mad elephant which uproots the creeper of bhakti and destroys everything. That person is condemned for billions of lifetimes. At this point even the mantrarajas refuse to forgive that person and even if he chants, the names will go against him and he will be destroyed.

Ultimately all offenses whether for Radha Krishna naama or maha mantra, or Nitaai nama, Gaura naama or Hari naama all will slowly but surely lead to the Vaisnava aparadha offense sooner or later. The difference is that upto that point the chanter of the mantrarajas gets the full benefit of his chanting, but if his desire is not sincere, the bhakti tree is overpowered by the offenses tree after a point. It all comes to no difference in the end once the foolish chanter reaches the point of Vaisnava aparadha after which it all goes to zero and then he goes into negative and we can say that he will go to hell and never come back till perhaps a billion Brahmas go by and that too depends on whether he will repent and atleast have a desire to beg forgiveness from the Vaisnava he offended. If this stage is reached, the only solution is to IMMEDIATELY fall at the Vaisnava's feet and beg forgiveness and NEVER, EVER commit any offenses from that point on. However if someone takes advantage of this thinking, "I will beg forgiveness now and start all over again with my old ways" then he is lower than a person who eats his own stool. This person then becomes guilty of another Vaisnava aparadha, that of cheating the devotees and at this point there is nothing that can save him till the Lord decides he has had enough punishment.

This also doesn't imply that the sadhaka must consider oneself safe even if one chants 24 hours a day. As long as the desire to misuse one's marginal independence and free will is not gone one is not safe. Even a person who reaches such a very high stage is in danger and there is no room for any type of conceit. One must never feel satisfied with what devotion he has done even if it is so great that it cannot be done even by Lord Brahma or Lord Siva. As Gour Govinda Swami said we all either go up or go down. There is no stagnation or saturation. If we feel saturated or we think we stagnate, then we are falling down, no doubt about that.

When a devotee, especially a leader falls down he does not go down alone, he takes his troupe with him. So many thousands of people will be shattered or disappointed. Some my go for guidance elsewhere. But one major part of the people as has been seen in history owing to the influence of the age of Kali will ultimately use the EVEN excuse to say , "Even he who was so advanced did it? What is wrong if I who am lower has such a problem?" By this the yardstick of their advancement becomes relative, not absolute and ultimately these people will also fall down.  The other major group of the people will feel hopelessly betrayed or lost. Ultimately they will lose faith and come to the conclusion that the whole thing was a big failure and they will all leave the devotional practice sooner or later. We have seen this happen on atleast 3 major occasions in history. Yet another danger due to this is that it encourages the creation of apasampradayas. When people justify their mistakes and think that they can go on being devotees while committing offenses, then it only takes a group of a few such malicious minded individuals to form a new apasampradaya and go about cheating the unfortunate public. We have seen so many such cults come up in the last few centuries -- no need to mention names -- All of them ultimately conspire to ruin the name of pure devotion and to ultimately make people lose their faith in the true religion of devotional service. Hence they are far more dangerous than all the atheists in history.

Therefore the falldown of a devotee is the most disastrous and unfortunate event that can happen to himself, to others around him, to his guru (!! Because the disciples sins affect the guru's devotion as well !!), to his disciples, to others whose devotion is fledging, to the common populace, and ultimately the entire world, nay all of creation and to BHAKTI ITSELF and to the lord as well because he is always very distressed to see a soul go away from him!!. This is by no means an exaggeration. It is only the expert devotee who can realise the truth of what happened and keep his devotional faith and progress intact while chaos reigns around him. But to be that expert one has to have come a long way and for that ONE MUST NEVER COMMIT OFFENSES OR ENCOURAGE THAT MENTALITY. I must add that this one came from the fact that I realised that my friends considered me some sort of infallible idol and justified their own mistakes in my name because if I was apparently superior and made mistakes, they couldn't be blamed...That set the alarm bells ringing.

Therefore the mantrajas mercy is not an excuse for committing offenses. It is very important to be vigilant as we do with the Hare Krishna maha mantra, perhaps even more vigilant because there is a risk of the lax attitude developing in the chanter which makes him go too easy on himself. One must be very strict as we have all learned this lesson in the recent events over the past few days by the mercy of the Lord and the Vaisnavas. That is exactly the point, we must be very strict. I feel that one should never hesitate to use  discipline on oneself for the sake of advancement. The Lord has given me a nice whack to remind me that the first thing I need is  -- discipline, military discipline -- the solution to all problems faced by a sadhaka. Again this means quality and high quantity chanting without wasting any time.

The guru is the one who can save the erring student and implore the Lord to show his mercy. But if the disciple commits offenses to the guru, then as I said earlier he is finished. Sometimes the guru may reject him. If Lord Krishna refuses to accept a person, then Srimati Radharani may plead on his behalf. Or if a person is too unfit to approach Radha Krishna, Lord Caitanya can take pity on him. If even Lord Gaurahari refuses, Lord Nityananda can take mercy on him. If even that is not possible, their devotees can show their mercy. But if even these devotees leave him, then he is completely finished. There is no hope. Actually the devotees never want to leave us, but they sometimes do that in the interests of pure bhakti and its proper maintenance and distribution. Until the devotees decide to change their mind the sadhaka is doomed because of his offenses. There is no telling when he can ever get that mercy again. It is said that when one accumulates sukriti for a time equal to a billion lifetimes of Brahma, he becomes worthy to chant the names of the Lord. So the value of this opportunity is beyond any comprehension power and if I waste this chance, I would be a fool beyond a fool beyond all fools ever to tread this planet, the laughing stock of the entire universe even.

This letter is therefore a plea from a low and worthless wretch who is half-heartedly trying to become a servant of the Lord's devotees for not just to whom the letter is addressed to, but to all sadhakas and devotees who are chanting and making advancement  that PLEASE DO NOT COMMIT OFFENSES AND NEVER ENCOURAGE THAT MENTALITY no matter what name of the Lord they are chanting. One must not even think of activities that are offenses because Bhagavad Gita says that the soul becomes completely entangled in the world when he THINKS OR CONTEMPLATES material things which are the objects of the material senses. The danger signs must be recognised early on to avoid what will eventually, but surely, by a very complicated chain of events, lead to an irreplaceable loss of indescribable and unfathomable magnitude for the sadhaka, the Vaisnavas, even the Supreme Lord and to all of pure bhakti!

PS : I had to use caps as i could find a way to underline or use bold letters. Kindly please do not think I intended to shout or get excited in my talk. Once again asking your forgiveness if you were offended in any way. Please be free to correct my misconceptions on this matter and all the mistakes i may have made in this article.

Aspriring to ever be a humble servant of you and all Vaisnavas and the Supreme Lord,

A most unworthy soul,

Srinath.K

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