Re: Diary of chanting aspirant

Nityananda Gauranga Hare Krsna

Dear Mihir,
I am not advanced, I am real fool. That is true. Only because I have small faith in Swami Gaurangapada and because he still is so merciful toward me I am still trying to become devotee.

I do not know answer to your question. I may try to answer according to what I had read from Gurudevas writings and according to books of previous acharyas.

There are three kind of perfect, most highest jivas - first, devotees who are engaged in krsna lila - with their spiritual body eternaly engaged in vrindavana rasa in spiritual world. Such perfection is result of pure chanting of Krsna Naam, Hari Naam. In this age of Kali, it is almost imposable for  us to attain that stage of pure chanting if we chant solely Krsna Naam because we are making aparadhas.

Also there are gaura lila nitya siddhas and also gaura lila sadhana siddhas - with their spiritual body eternaly in Gaura lila. This perfection is attainable by chanting Gaura and Nitaai Naam. There is no doubt about that.

But, there is also third kind of most perfect souls - with two spiritual bodies both in krsna and gaura lila. Such perfection is attainable by chanting both nitaai and gaura naam and hari naam.

Love in separation is more intense then in union. Whole Gaura lila is example of this. Sometimes, in order to intensify devotees desire to attain Him, and also to teach non devotees, Lord may put His devotee in hard position. Actually that is Lord's mercy because then devotee is completely and fully surrender to Him. We also may see that there are many examples of separation also in Gaura lila. When Nityananda Prabhu left Ekachakra, His parents were in agony. Lord Gauracandra took sanyasa and His wife left in separation from Him constantly chanting His Name.  Lord Gauranga Himself  manifested ultimate separation feelings in Puri, feeling separated from His Lord Krsna. So both, union and separation in spiritual realm are two sides of same coin - pure love and have nothing with material distress.

Also when devotee is on very beginning stages of devotion like myself, Lord may help him by taking comfort, material possessions etc. and show real face of this material world to devotee so that all daubhts or seeds for material enjoyment are becoming destroyed in core of hearth. If you are fortunate, Lord will take away everything material, but He will give pure devotion. That is His Name - Hari - He who takes away. And Lord Chaitanya is Gaurahari.

We also must understand that Lord Gauranga gave us highest philosophy - acintya bheda abheda tattva. He is Krsna but He is in role of devotee. Nitaai and Gaura Naam are at the same moment identical with Krsna Naam, but also different from Krsna Naam, because Mantrarajas do not accept our ofencess.

We also may see that our great acharyas gave us example of this. Srilla Narotama das Thakura is crying

ha ha prabhu nityananda premananda sukhi
krpabolokana koro ami boro dukhi

"My dear Lord Nityananda, You are always joyful in spiritual bliss. Since You always appear very happy, I have come to You because I am most unhappy. If You kindly put Your glance over me, I may also become happy."

Also our great Acharya Srilla Bhaktivinoda Thakur is explaining mercy of Nitaai

kobe nityananda, more kori' doya,
charaibe mora visayera maya
diya more nija-caranera chaya,
namera hatete dibe adhikar
kabe ha'be bolo se-dina amar

When will Nityananda Prabhu be merciful to me and deliver me from the enchantment [maya] of the sense objects? When will he give me the shade of his lotus feet and the right to enter the market place [hama-hatta] of the Holy Name? When, O when, will that day be mine?

I am hoping that I gave you some hints. Dear Gurudeva, please correct if I gave wrong explanations.

Nityananda Gauranga Hare Krsna

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