...the sacred garden and the ego...

Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krsna!

Dear Gurudeva and assembled devotees, here is an entry from my 'spiritual emergence crisis blog'. The blog is aimed at assisting those in crisis of a psycho-spiritual nature. I found mainstream religious communities did not hold the key for my difficulty, but saying that devotion has been my complete saving grace living with a profound health condition. It is not a suddha-sattva or suddha-bhakti blog - it is where I am at as a man finding my way in life with 'devotion as the core'. Not yet perfect, but applying my nature and modes in service to God - aspiring to serve my spiritual master to the best of my ability.

I thought today's entry may serve some purpose for Nitaai Sangha Health Forum:

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Here is some journaling about my sacred garden (and the meditation involved) at my yoga teachers devotional forum http://nitaai.net

Bhakti yoga is my core or essence practice, even of shamanism. Bhakti means loving devotion, and yoga means 'desire and union of love'. So the pure 'intent' of this yoga form is selfless love of God (devotional service).

Sri Gauranga Mahaprabhu taught the philosophy of ecstatic chanting of the Holy Name to attain pure love blissful life (love of God). 'Inconceivable Simultaneous Oneness and Difference'....on an esoteric level of my soul/mind I see subtle energies etc (and many more things). So the concept of bhakti is not renunciation, but instead application - to apply the mind in yoga - in service.

In regards to the non-ordinary state that developed in my mind (of which there is still an emergence difficulty to some degree) I am very empathic. For example, yesterday a friend came and we performed singing with instruments in bhakti-yoga-kirtan. In my God consciousness the idea is 'simultaneous oneness and difference' and its 'inconceivable element'. To be aware that God is in the heart of the other, to be aware that in God consciousness my friend and I are one yet different, that God is one yet different - inconceivably simultaneous. And the application of the mind in 'non-ordinary trance'.

What I have found, living with a very subtle consciousness, is that the mind can connect and identify with others, but one does not merge fully or lose oneself totally. There is a tiny, founded, spiritual ego that remains different (the soul spark), so that, love can increase and attain (rasa) flavor.

How far the soul can go into the nature of 'rasa with God' is unlimited. Unfortunately during an emergence crisis (ego difficulty and foundation) the esoteric and non-ordinary symptoms can appear like pathology - to the atheist psyche-doctors who operate on the old Newtonian-Cartesian model, that we are these bodies (bags of skin) and 'seperate from each other', within a law of causality. Indeed a very primitive understanding of the universe with very little spiritual insight, and unfortunately many people with (poorly founded spiritual ego)- deep spiritual emergence crisis difficulties - come under the authority of these archaic 'psyche butchers' and doctors who see God as pathology (from a Freudian model).

I am growing the Sacred Tulsi Plant (who is a spiritual entity of beauty and charm). Very delicate. My meditation as a gardener and cultivator is bhakti-yoga contemplation.

Here is some basic entries on my spiritual masters website that I have posted over the last weeks:

    Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krsna!

    Dear Maharaja and assembled devotees, please accept my humble obiesances.

    Lately I have been building a small greenhouse to cultivate Tulsi, and some medicinal plants for various ailments. The last few days have been warm here, and to my surprise and joy, the first sprout of some newly planted seeds appeared today. Much earlier than expected.

    I realized today that this tiny sprout will now need attention and care, daily care - I am new to gardening but enthusiastic ;) Lets hope Tulsi decides to sprout and live here too!

    So, here is my thoughts and blog post:

    "May the divine creeper begin to sprout within the heart. May the first two leaves be called 'tenderness' and 'compassion'.

    May 'I' observe the weeds and cultivate the tender shoot of life divine.

    (inspired by the teachings of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu - the incarnation of love divine)".

    y.s. Nava.

    Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krsna!

    Dear Swami Gaurangapada and assembled devotees, please accept my obiesances.

    Two days ago Tulsi Devi seed sprouted in my sacred garden. I planted 4 seeds and only one has taken. One is wonderful!

    She is so tiny and delicate, the tiniest of tiny two leaves have appeared above the soil mix. I have never seen her before in this form, beautiful! So I will let her live inside and in the greenhouse depending on the weather conditions, and what the heart feels is right.

    Patience, care, and love may be the tools needed. I was contemplating in the last days about 'respect'. Respect is my personal meditation and cultivation at this stage in my life. Each of us has a tiny sprout of love of God in the heart. Each humans spiritual life and growth is the softest and tenderest of all things in creation. The nature of bhakti. And allowing space, sensing others spiritual needs...and never trampling even the most fallen, must be the highest priority in spiritual existence. Unfortunately I fail everyday...

    If we have spiritual eyes all these things will become manifest to the heart (in the substance of consciousness), and by God's grace (and suffiency) we will be guided how to live in the 'kingdom of God'. Vaikuntha here and now...not out there, not somewhere else, but within the heart. A sea of living consciousness, full of diversity and divine personalities.

    I feel this gift of life as a human being is the manifold kindness and greatest gift of God. Rather than the field of sense gratification, earth can be the field of true cultivation. And the body can be perfected for eternal life. Back home, back to Godhead! Jaya Srila Prabhupada!!

    aspiring...Nava.



    Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krsna!

    Dear Swami Gaurangapada and assembled devotees, please accept my humble obiesances.

    The other week a Tulsi seedling sprouted in a container, needing much care. There was 3 other Tulsi seeds in the container that did not sprout and take form - I thought they were dead seeds. Last night one more sprouted smile

    Spiritual life can be like that, all things have their season and time. For example a small community may have various people, each having their time of growth and realization. And some seeds of the heart which seem to be dormant grow into the most beautiful of all, even like this tiny Tulsi sprout that appeared overnight, its smallness and fragile form is divine.

    Even more wonderful is that when the plants grow together in a cluster they support each other and become one in purpose - Sri Krsna Reality the Beautiful.

    Gardening is lots of fun, teaching me many things from day to day - and with a devotional mood fragile earth can become divine. And the carer forgets himself in the thoughts of the other...

    y.s. Nava.

    Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krsna!

    Dear Swami Gaurangapada and assembled devotees, please accept my humble obiesances.

    In the 'sacred medicine garden' there are several plants of various variety. One is called a toothache plant that numbs the mouth for toothache. 3 seedlings sprouted and 1 is going well...the other 2 struggled. I kept watering them, and felt not to water so much, but kept going anyway... 1 died! The other may survive if I water it correctly, slowly and steadily.

    There is also two Marigold plants that is good for cooking and herbal tea for bad stomach and anxiety release. These two are my favorite flowering perennial (beautiful subtle tea with tumeric to activate chi energy and flow), in the last two days tiny browm spots have appeared on them, disease! What to do? More sun, less damp...watching and learning?

    It seems at various stages of growth the individual plant needs different things. Spiritual life is like that too hey! Sometimes we need quiet time, sometimes rest, and sometimes celebration. Other times we need to fully focus on others needs. And oneday the tree is steady and strong, and gives shade to all...

    Oh, and by the way, the 2 Tulsi Devi plants are growing well. One is very tiny and the other has manifested its 2nd set of leaves.

    No weeds yet smile but I am sure they will come smile At the moment the cultivator is learning from his mistakes...

    in service...Nava.

    Yes, Nava Gauranga dasa. Shrila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Goswami compares the cultivation of Prema (pure love) to gardening and Lord Gauranga Mahaprabhu as the gardener who desires to recruit volunteers like us to work on His behalf to bring others closer to Prema. And Lord Nityananda is in-charge of that garden. smile

    Daaso'smi, BR Sadhu Swami Gaurangapada.

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