Re: Arguments?

Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krsna!

Dear Ishana... For many years, more than twenty, I dreamed of living overseas as a monk. As a 22 year old man I left my place of birth in a search for meaning. At the age of thirty, and 8 years searching, I chose to take up the practice of Naam Yoga. I found great dissatisfaction with my family upbringing and values. My family taught me as a child that financial world views and owning things was the highest source of happiness. Both my parents come from poor background and worked very hard to raise a family, and that hard work bought much sorrow...

Coming in contact with a cultural movement from India I found purpose and meaning, and a totally different value system. I also found a philosophy which spoke very strongly against materialism... And due to my immaturity I projected that philosophy onto my culture, society, and upbringing. I offended many people. I had become a fanatic...

Sense gratification is simply dangerous because, the soul grosses out on matter, puts blinkers on, and misses out on seeing the bigger picture. The fault did not lie externally, it lied in my projection, it lied in my own ignorance. Spiritual teachers will use examples, words, metaphors etc to awaken the student. But in the end the student must utilize his own intergrity and wisdom... In my opinion, projection is delusion, and to be free of delusion is the beginning of breaking down of illusion. I have chosen to cast aside fanaticism...

My dream to live in India never come true. If I had of went, as an immature man, I would not have had the spiritual depth necessary. The Lord of the heart is so kind in wisdom. I do not know you Ishana, this is my story, which I offer to you in friendship!

I look at Sri Caitanya in my way, my individual life in relation to God. There is only one me and set of circumstances. I hold 'Personalism' as the highest ideal, and 'Diversity' as the key integral quality and essence of all existence. The Lord is in my heart, He is my teacher. External Guru confirms life's purpose...

Here is the way I practice Vaisnavism in my village in Australia. In the small area of town: Yesterday I reflected on Sri Caitanya's words... To be as tolerant as a tree, and as humble as a blade of grass...

I sat under a local tree, stilled my mind, thought of God. I could feel that tree in my soul, that tree is spirit. As I quitened and chanted the Lord's Holy Name the birds came back and played in that tree. The sun shone brightly through the greyish clouds. The tree tolerated my back leaning against its rugged bark, I felt like its bark and energy. Each particle of grass moved in the wind. My prana moved in the wind. My sacred meeting place. I honor this place as a gift from God. I honor this heart space as if it is Gaura Mandala. Where the Holy Name exists is fully spiritual...

Training myself this way, becoming self satisfied and' less empty and aggressive' - maybe oneday I can be of service in Puri Dham. I truly believe Ishana gratitude opens the doorway to love... And finding inner peace, true culture awakens and eyes begin to see everything as a particle ray of Truth. Vaisnavism! I am enchanted and long to see Vrindavan...

Life begins at 40;)... so they say)...

y.s. Neil (Australia).

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