An Introduction

Respected Swamiji and All devotees,

Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krishna!
Jaya Visnupada Srila Prabhupada!
Jaya Swami Gaurangpada!
All glories to the Guru Parampara!
All glories to the Vaisnavas!

      First of all I would like to intorduce myself to this forum. My name is Srinath. I was introduced to the sublime glories of devotion to the Supreme Lordships, the Personalities of Godhead, Lord Nityananda and Lord Caitanya by the mercy of Hadai Nityananda Dasa Prabhu, to whom I am eternally indebted to life after life. Indeed that was the second time I practically realised the mercy of the Vaisnavas - the first being when I first picked up an old copy of the Bhagavad Gita as It is by Srila Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada when I was 14. It was a turning point in my life where I was first introduced to Krishna Bhakti itself. The Bhagavad Gita attracted me like a magnet and since then I feel the Lord and the spiritual masters have been showering unlimited mercy on this most vile and wretched fellow who had absolutely no spiritual qualifications. Before that day I led the life of the usual teenager, blissfully unaware of this most rare opportunity which comes after an incalculable time of acquiring spiritual sukrti. I have done so many sinful activities, so many worng things in my lifetime --  all of which I feel very ashamed to even recollect now. On top of it I was proud of all my so called qualifications and had the Lord and the vaisnavas not decided to rescue me at 14, I do not know what would have happened to me. While many people are sinful because of excessive material delusion, I am a worthless rascal who committed so many sins and offences even after taking to chanting of the Lord's name.

     By the time I had begun to go through Srimad Bhagavatam my head and heart had become firmly cemented in Srila Prabhupada and the Gaudiya Vaisnava sampradaya. But however my chanting of Hare Krishna was only an exercise in offenses -- it was completely irregular and because of lack of any advancement I found it difficult to chant even one round a week. Whenever I got time I only wasted it. Without any devotee to have personal contact with it was impossible for any progress to be done because of all my offenses. When I came to college last year, the stress and an unplanned and haphazard approach had me completely burnt out, unable to find any respite and I was literally crying for relief.
   
    Meanwhile I tried to study more and more of Srila Prabhupada's writings, having gone through his Vedabase almost one complete time I came across the interesting verse in the CC emphasising the chanting of the Holy names of Lord Gauranga and Nityananda. It was quite clear that their names were free from the offenses I was committing. But I thought it meant only the pancha tattva mantra and for a while I tried to chant it a hundred times or so before chanting Hare Krishna, but it was all in bits and pieces. I had all the theory, but no will or desire to discipline myself and practice. But the Lord took mercy for that.

    I meanwhile tried to know all about the ISKCON and other devotees of the Gaudiya Vaisnava sampradaya. But that search over the internet was only yielding bitter results. So many cases of people falling down, so much quarrel and argument -- to the point of fanaticism in so many forums. For every useful link I got there were hundreds of useless ones - "Is A better or B? What does A have to say about B? B is this ... A is that....who are you to say this or that? Beware ..." Only online WAR. It was so frustrating that it tested my very faith In Krishna consciousness. I almost lost all hope thinking that there were no more pure devotees on this planet.

   Then an idea struck me by the grace of Lord Nityananda as I know it now and I searched for Pure devotees in google. It was only a few minutes before it brought me to Hadai Nityananda Dasa Prabhu's www.be-pure.info site. I just went through it once and it was as if I found what I was really looking for. It all seemed wonderful to read about the glories of the mantrarajas. I was convinced that here was a pure devotee who would show me the way out.

    First I tried to chant the mantrarajas for a while as advised before starting the maha-mantra. And what a phenomenal difference there was!!
For the first time, chanting began to feel very interesting and it was as if some big block had been moved away and I had been given a rocket to travel along. My chanting began to improve and I began to miss it if I didn't chant. Then I contacted Hadai Nityananda Dasa Prabhu and introduced myself to him following which I asked a few questions about why so many people objected to the mantrarajas when the proof was staring right in front of their faces. Out of his mercy he took quite an interest in replying all his answers to what he claimed where my perfect questions. I was also very surprised to see Swamiji himself add his comments to them particularly to the question on why some people claimed it was all illusion and also regarding the instructions in the books. I felt that was when they actually showed their mercy by actually responding to some queries.

    Although my chanting was still unsteady, it was now more of a rarer day I didn't chant. I kept in touch with Hadai Nityananda Dasa Prabhu very regularly and he guided me in and out right from the smallest items to extraordinarily wonderful aspects of chanting. I learnt how to engage all senses in the Lord's service and within a short time I was having some extraordinary realisations of my own -- which i will try to convey in subsequent posts -- Never had I felt that chanting could be so sublime as what I was actually seeing. Chanting rounds was no longer a chore. Meanwhile all my distress and stress began to vanish and this time I could tackle things easily -- all by the grace of the Lord.

    I am telling you as I write this that there were many occasions in the last few months which would have ensured that I would have never ever seen the light of today to write this letter. But the Lord saved me in everything and I always got away without a scratch -- only staring into the face of certain death moments before -- but when I look back I see the presence of Lord Caitanya and Lord Nityananda in everything and now with your mercy and blessings I feel I can fully surrender myself to the guru and the Lord putting my ego out of the way to make more advancement in devotional service.

   Recently a tense situation has been created where I recognize now that I have been given time by Lord Nityananda and Gauranga to make as much advancement as I can as the recent course of events indicate that the future is far more serious than what I can put in words. Right now it is my vacation and I have a lot of time to chant by the Lord's mercy. Because of all your mercy only I now feel that in this vacation I can comfortably chant 32+32+32 (Nityananda + Gauranga + Hare Krishna rounds) in a day and I feel that I should try for 64+64+64 before this vacation gets over. My chanting of Hare Krishna became very sweet after I introduced the chanting of the mantrarajas and I could sometimes actually a glimpse of the real beauty of my Radha Krishna and Nityananda Gauranga deities while looking at them in the form of their pictures and actually see that the Lord was present right there. On one rare occasion I cried out before the Lord begging for him to forgive me while telling him all that I had done and tried to hide.

   I wish to end talking more about myself at this point as I feel it might make me take all this extremely extremely insignificant work as some kind of big leap and let things go to my head. I would rather love to talk about the mercy of the mantrarajas and the Vaisnavas which we can keep doing for eternity. Whenever I read the caitanya Caritamrta or the Caitanya Bhagavatha I realise that all that I could ever do in a lifetime would be absolutely nothing compared to what the real devotees of the Lord can do in a split second. There is no room for arrogance or a sense of fulfilment here and I only pray for all your mercy that I never forget how wretched and insignificant I am and that it is only all your mercy that is the real cause of my advancement and not myself, never myself. I am only responsible for whatever I do wrong in my service because that is when I fall into the delusion of taking things in my own hands -- and then realising painfully how unqualified I really am -- by the mercy of the Lord again.

      I would like to thank you Swamiji for your great uncompromising efforts in making the merciful mantrarajas available to the fallen people of this age. Along the way I would like to mention that a few friends joined me and have also received the mercy of the Vaisnavas and are making very sincere efforts to chant the mantrarajas. Some of my family members have accepted this as well. Really I see that the only thing that is needed to accept the mantrarajas is a bit of humility and accepting that there are many things beyond us, along with an unbiased mentality.

     The Nitaai Veda Book is a priceless jewel which I can term one of the greatest achievements in compilation and assembly of the widely scattered literatures on devotional service of our glorious sampradaya. While offering all my obeisances to all the acaryas of the sampradaya, I would like to mention a few in particular.....

    All glories to Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura, Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura and Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada! These three acaryas have done what is beyond all words to describe -- taking genuine Vaisnava dharma from almost near non-existence on this planet to a situation where it is clear that it will engulf the whole world as Bhaktivinode thakura predicted it would --- while at the same time vanquishing all inauspicious and false philosophies opposed to the path of genuine bhakti!

   All glories to Srila Bhaktishastri Paramapada Maharaja! He was the epitome of humility whom I take along with namacharya Haridasa Thakura as my role models in that direction! He was the one who gave the order to Swamiji to preach what he is doing now without which all of us would have never even known the mantrarajas!

    All glories to Narottama Dasa Thakura who went about openly asking everyone to chant the names of Lord Nityananda and Lord Gauranga! In very simple language he expressed the entire knowledge of our sampradaya to the common man! His prayers were personally very inspiring for me........
 
    Then I must thank Swamiji for he personally clarified some doubts which were big stumbling blocks on my path! It was very unprecedented and it just told me how little I know about the unlimited mercy of a pure Vaisnava.

     I must thank Hadai Nityananda Dasa Prabhu for it is he who has guided me in every aspect of my devotion throughout. If i am anything now, it is all due to him. I cannot find any words to express his mercy on this fallen soul. This very same letter has also been inspired only by him as he urged me get all of your association.

     I thank all the other acaryas of our sampradaya too. I have not talked about every one as it would make it too voluminous beyond measure to ever reach the limit of their glories. So please forgive me for my inability

      I must thank the Supreme Lordships, the Personalities of Godhead Sri Radha Krishna and Nityananda-Gauranga again and again for all their mercy on this most fallen fool and again and again giving wonderful opportunities to come up in devotional service.

      I must paritcularly offer very grateful obeisances to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, The most merciful incarnation, the origin of the material and spiritual worlds, one who is without beginning, middle or end, the full extent of whose quality of mercy is not possible for anyone to fully understand, who is sakshat Mula Sankarsana, the adi-guru of all, one who gives to the fallen soul what is not obtainable easily for even Lord Brahma or Lord Siva to get, the life and soul of all Vaisnavas, the selfsame personality of Godhead Lord Balarama, whose glories are hidden in the Vedas but openly revealed in Srimad Bhagavatam and the puranas, one who broke the dam of Krishna prema and went from door to door begging people to chant the name of Gauranga, the proprietor of the market place of the Holy name, one who is the gateway to the inner circle of very confidential devotees of the Lord, that Supreme personality who revealed after a very long time, the glories of Lord Caitanya which were hidden from the eyes of all, one who awards the pinnacle of devotion to the fallen souls of the Kali Yuga, giving them what was not obtained by even those in the Satya Yuga --- devotion to Lord caitanya; obeisances to Lord Nityananda Prabhu who has orchestrated all this in order to bring me to the path of pure devotion! (I will try to describe Lord Caitanya in another passage later...)

       Jaya Nityananda Gauranga! Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare! All glories to the illustrious guru parampara! All glories to all the Vaisnavas! Please accept this insignificant offering at your feet excusing all my limitations and offenses! Gaura Premanande!

Aspiring to become a servant of the Vaisnavas and the Lord,

A most low, insignificant and worthless person,

Srinath K

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