Vice of Fault Finding

Respected Swamiji and all Vaisnavas,

   Nityananda Gauranga Hare Krishna!

Jai Visnupada Srila Prabhupada!

Jai Swami Gaurangapada!

All glories to our Guru Parampara!

        Please accept my respectful obeisances!

       Firstly I want to ask some question -- Why does fault finding come about and why do we see defects in other people?

       Our acaryas have said that criticism (a.k.a fault finding) is the greatest danger to all devotional progress. Even criticism of people full of bad qualities must be thoroughly avoided by the sadhaka. Is fault finding really so dangerous?? Why is that?

       All our acaryas have told us that fault finding is only because of lack of humility and because of envy. I do not understand this properly. Please educate me on this matter.

        There seems to be a very intimate relationship between humility and tolerance. With humility also seems to come tolerance. Sometimes even a slight mistake made by another person is unforgivable, heinious,etc.etc (vile oaths). 

        Is it true that all the faults we see in others are actually our own faults?

        Sometimes we are unable to tolerate it if someone is supporting sinful acts. "How dare they be so sinful. They knowingly support adharma...." In Kali-Yuga people are sinful. But I see that some people who don't act so bad are very much angered whenever they think of someone who commits sinful activities. Why is this?

          Because of nurturing fault finding, it also seems to nurture terrible anger. It becomes impossible to forgive and tolerate even something not worthy of becoming angry about.

          Basically I feel that fault finding makes it impossible to forgive (which is the most merciful quality of a Vaisnava) and tolerate any thing done by another person. Is my understanding correct?

     Sometimes if we are insulted or humiliated or have had some bad experience with some people, we (i.e.people like me) make our lives ten times miserable than what we suffered by continuously thinking about that suffering over and over and over again. I am saying this because I see people who have had such experiences. They seem unable to forget them and keep thinking them. Sometimes I see people are so tolerant and patient and they are able to bear such painful experiences, but something internally seems to go haywire and later they talk as if they are almost mad with anger. Usually if any topic is discussed where there is a bit of fault on one person, within no time the whole discussion goes to a point where we go back to that experience and once again reignite the fire. I am telling this because it is a daily experience I see and it is vrey horrifying to see how the anger gets kindled by repeated remembrance of those things. The curses I hear are too horrifying, "They must suffer this...that...they are........." as if one would like nothing better than to see that person who harmed them suffer a thousand times more than what they suffered. If told to forgive and remember the Lord they ask, "What do you know about how I suffered? They made me suffer this and that for so many years? Only God knows. How can I think of the Lord when I am so distressed?"

      As I say this I admit that I have been the victim of this type of fault finding and it has in the past robbed me of all peace of mind. I could not concentrate on the Lord. Now by your association I have almost forgotten all these things, but I want it to go away forever. Otherwise my chanting will not improve.

      Sometimes I point out all the mistakes of my friends and then tell them, "Look, please do not think I am finding faults in you. I just felt like saying for your benefit. Maybe you should do this....that...." Isn't it hypocrisy?

      If my feeling is correct, fault finding is the reason why my chanting is not improving. I must have started thinking myself as 'perfect'. Sometimes I fear that this fault finding may so bad that we may not feel like giving the benefits of mantrarajas to others which is the greatest sin. If I see only myself as faulty, then everyone seems to be perfectly deserving in their chance and I feel that I am so unqualified, but the Lord and His devotees are so merciful that they are giving me this chance to chant NITYAAAANANDA! GAUUURAAANGA! HARE KRISHNA!!!

      Please tell me how I can overcome this great sinful activity and look beyond people's limitations and defects. When I see my own faults I am horrified and it seems shameful to even call another person so much as 'stupid' -- it seems like a very vulgar thing to say. Actually I am the fool. But not having realised this I have spoiled everything in my devotion. Now I am asking you to help me to overcome these things. Other than devotees, who else can I confide these to?

Aspiring to beccome a humble servant of the devotees,

Srinath

      

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