Re: Diary of chanting aspirant

Nityananda Gauranga Hare Krishna!
Dear Igor Prabhu,
Your articles of your Naam bhajan, personal life and problems are really very inspiring. Most of us face the same problems. Take me for example�I am born in a South Indian Smarta family. My family never used to accept the ISKCON and Srila Prabhupada. Ever since I read the Bhagavat Gita As It Is, I have always been wanting to visit the ISKCON and associate with devotees. But in my family it was completely taboo. Sometimes huge arguments used to occur with other relatives saying �your son will be brainwashed by the ISKCON. They will make him a sanyaasi, etc�. At one point of time I completely lost hope. I have even cried to Srila Prabhupada to help me. Turbulent times those were. But then Krishna is the maintainer of all living entities. Factually nothing is in our hands. Srila Prabhupada once said very nicely in a Srimad Bhagavatam lecture (Bombay, November 2, 1974) ---

��So all these jivas, we, living entities, we are being maintained by that one. This is the Vedic information. Eko bahunam yo vidadhati kaman. Just like we maintain our family. One man is earning, and he is maintaining his family, wife, children, servants, dependents, workers, so many. Similarly, that one, Bhagavan, is maintaining all the living entities. You do not know how many there are. In Africa there are millions of elephants. They are also eating forty kg's at one time. So that, they are also being maintained. And the small ant, that is also being maintained. There are 8,400,000 forms of different bodies. Who is maintaining them? Maintaining, Bhagavan, that ekah. Eko bahunam yo vidadhati kaman. That is a fact. So why He'll not maintain us? Especially those who are devotees, who have taken shelter at the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord, leaving aside everything simply for His service.

Just like in our Krsna consciousness movement. We have got more than one hundred centers. And one center... We were just reading from the statement of Nava Bharata Times how they are well managed. But we have no business. We have no source of income. That is the only source of income -- Krsna's shelter. Samasrita ye pada-pallava-plavam. Therefore sastra says that "You take shelter of Krsna." Krsna comes also to say the same truth. Sarva-dharman parityajya mam ekam saranam vraja [Bg. 18.66]. He never said that "You do this and do that. Then I shall give you for your maintenance." No. Aham tvam sarva-papebhyo moksayisyami: "Not only I shall give maintenance, but I shall protect you from the resultant action of sinful life." So much assurance is there. So sastra also says, tasyaiva hetoh prayateta kovido na labhyate yad bhramatam upary adhah [SB 1.5.18]. Tasyaiva hetoh prayateta kovidah. Kovida means intelligent, very intelligent person. So what should he try for? Tasyaiva hetoh: to get shelter at the lotus feet of Krsna. Human life should only endeavor how to get in touch of the lotus feet of Krsna. That should be the only one business.�� 

So what can we do? We cannot give the love of Godhead to others. We can however be a mode of distribution of that love. Everything depends on Gauranga�s mercy. If Gaurasundara wishes he can give anyone prema, even a rat. Actually we put ourselves in anxiety when we think that we are the cause. No, rather the cause is and always Krishna. The only thing we can do is to increase our naama bhajana. The better you do your chanting the more you will see things change around you. I have had practical experience of this. Now my brother and my father chant. Of course for their chanting is not regular but atleast they accept. Before my father would not. My mother has not accepted yet but I hope, by Nitaai�s mercy, she will. I have seen that no amount of reasoning will change people if Gaura�s mercy is not there. But with His mercy even the impossible will take place.

The best experience I have had of Gaura�s mercy is my next door neighbor. She is too, a Smarta brahmin. One day she was taking with my mother about Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. I was dumbstruck! I have never spoken to her about these. But then it seems she had bought a Tamil version of the Chaitanya Bhagavata and had read it. She is now so attracted by that book. She was telling my mum��Mami (that�s how smarta ladies are call each other in Tamil), Chaitaya Mahaprabhu is such a great mahan. It is said that he is an avatara of Lord Krishna. His pastimes as Nimaai is so super excellent.� That day I felt so elated. She has even accepted all the associates of Mahaprabhu. She now chants the mahamantra. She gave that book to mum and though my mum hasn�t read  it fully she has now accepted Mahaprabhu. She is still reluctant to chant though. Things have changed completely ever since I started chanting the holy names Nityaananda Gauranga. Now my parents have finally (for now) accepted that I am not maintaining any close contact with the ISKCON and that I visit it only to attend the kirtans and have prasada in the Sunday feast. I have even told them I have close contact with Hadai prabhu and they said nothing (Nitaai�s mercy). Now by His grace I do not have much opposition from my family. And I have hope that one day they will all accept the holy names Nityaananda Gauranga.

Even my friend Srinath has had that experience. His mother has read the Navadwipa Dhaama Mahatmya. Now his mother and his grandfather are chanting.

There is only one thing I realize from these. The only thing we need to be anxious about is chanting and how to increase the quantity and quality; and how to please Vaishnavas. Nothing else. The rest is all Gauranga�s work. He�ll take care of everything. We are incapable of doing anything else than pleasing Him and His devotees. Food, shelter, every possession we have, even this body, is given by Him. So we can only surrender to His lotus feet.

Although I have yapped so much, the fact is even I am not perfect (an idiot when it comes to practical matters). Being in a middle class family, I too feel anxious about the rising prices. But what can we do? I only pray to Gauranga to protect me.

The above things I have talked are what I learnt from Hadai prabhu when I used to moan about my parents attitude. He gave me courage by telling me his own story. I fall at his feet and thank him for bringing sense to this fool. Please correct me if I have committed any offence.

Aspiring to serve and please Vaishnavas,

The biggest fool on the planet,
Venkat

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