Re: A rascal's lamentation

Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krsna!

Dear Srinath, please accept my simple obiesances.

I can understand your spiritual yearning to some extent, this yearning is from God. As we gradually move closer to purification of conscious awareness, the Lord will teach us the qualities, of what a true servant manifests from her heart. This is a process - the Holy Name will bring this process to fruition by faith and application. All these qualities of selfless service will come - in due course.

Once we can begin to integrate our experiences (and the shadow) in deeper vision of truth, our soul experience will become profoundly deeper - eventually leading to heart felt compassion and serving mood. As our hearts day by day become saturated in love our addictive nature will begin to leave. Since babes we thought we were the center of the universe, now we are gradually learning to be a tiny tiny particle within that greater reality, Reality the Beautiful (Sri Krsna).

I am working through a process of healing like yourself - and love for the Holy Name is the key. Last year I chanted 100,000 holy names perday for one whole year - then I fell. And am grateful - now I pick up my mala in the correct frame of mind - like a small babe learning to live again (in reality). And am grateful if I can chant at least one name, in humility.

Here is some prayers that have helped me greatly, that I can meditate upon in the course of naam-bhakti-yoga.

y.s. Nava Gauranga dasa

3. I have offended endlessly,
given suffering to animals and man.
I have ruined my health and brain,
trying to enjoy and going insane.
I broke my word a thousand times
and still I thought that this is fine.
Oh Lord of the fallen, please come to me,
let me take shelter of your sacred feet.
And shower me with causeless grace,
to serve your cause with smiling face.
That faith will guide me that I share,
Your love with all so they come near.“

4. Mysterious Faith,
Please take me unto your shelter
Guide me to your Lord of love
Remove my ignorance
And selfish desires
Make me strong
To follow your ideals
Make me humble
To never offend
Make me simple
With wisdom
Make me sharp
Against illusion
Make me soft
To serve with love
Make me bright
To see your light
Give me determination
To leave my faults
To follow you
All the way
So that someday
My soul can stay
With love personified.
Oh Faith Divine
I am Yours
Not mine
Egotism
Has me driven
But You have given
Hope again
Faith in love
Gift from above
Meaning to follow
Lessens to swallow
A way to go
To find my home
Oh flower of faith
Oh ray of light
Oh taste for truth
Oh love divine
Grant me Your grace
Your love is mine.
Send me the guide
To trust the wise
Without fanaticism
To heal with inner vision
To see the love in all
And serve the highest goal

http://www.oidatherapy.org/introduction.htm

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